Women don’t ask! There is an entire book written about it: Why Women Don’t Ask by Linda Babcock. I preach it and teach it to women all the time. Ask for what you want. Ask for the impossible; after all, the only thing a person can do is tell you “No,” but some might say “Yes.”
Boy was I wrong! Sarah Lockard dared to ask for exactly what she wanted; she put it in writing and sent it out to all of her local restaurants:
Every Christmas Eve my family enjoys an amazing night dining out and this year I am offering you the exciting opportunity to be our restaurant that hosts us!
Was it a bold request? Yes, it was a bold request; yes, it comes off a bit arrogant, but at least she had the guts to put it out there, to go for exactly what she wanted. BRAVO for her! A woman actually stated clearly what she wanted.
She offered her services to the restaurant:
1) 2 Facebook posts on AML’s Facebook page promoting the respective restaurant as the restaurant of choice for AML’s family for Christmas Eve
2) 5 instagram photos during the dining experience
3) 2 AML enewsletter ads in Jan and Feb 2014 (reaches over 3,000 unique individuals)
4) listed in our Christmas Eve dining guide published Dec 10th, 2013 on AML.
We are asking for the following in turn: Dinner for 5 drinks and food compensated, we will tip according to the value to the server.
She certainly has the right to make the officer and each person she made the offer to has the right to say no. So what is the harm? What would cause this kind of attack for such a simple request?
- 41 I hope they get mild, delayed-onset food poisoning. 12/11/13 2:57pm
- Patrick Downs · Top Commenter
- From her site: “Mom and Dad: HUGE props to my parents, my loving extended family and the hundreds of very special people who have made AML tick. Without you, AML would not be shining SO brightly.” They must be proud of their little moocher.
- Lindsay Martin Cohen · Chicago, Illinois
- sadly that you linked to her site! No more page views for her please!
- Reply · 4 · Like · Follow Post · December 11 at 2:13pm
- Judy Waytiuk · Follow
- Shameless— and nauseating. But, very sadly, I fear this iS the face of whatever grovelling, craven, boot-licking, butt-kissing forum into which journalism is evolving. Reply · Like · Follow Post · December 11 at 2:12pm
This was simply a business proposition, instead of money she is trading for food. Is she over-ambitious? Maybe she is; only 569 people in her network does not make for a very far reach. But why would we be so critical of someone who is willing to take a risk with a business idea?
Did she do it perfectly? Maybe not. Did she break some of the blog’s rules, reviewer rules, and journalist rules? Maybe, but who says she has to follow anyone’s rules? But she does not derserve the shaming, bullying, and utter bullshit that has been unleashed upon her. This is precisely the kind of thing that holds women back from putting themselves out there.
I applaud her willingness to take the risk and to give it a shot! Let’s cheer on a woman’s willingness to take a big risk versus being critical of her.
Women are reluctant to ask for the deal, and they tend to undersell their products and services because they do not want to be labeled as pushy, just like Sarah was. But if women do not learn to put themselves out there, to go for the seemingly impossible, they are never going to move above that 55-cents-to-a-dollar disparity between male business owners and female.
When we do take the risk, we must be prepared for the backlash of those who would hold us back and seek out those who will support us. We must not be stopped by fear.
To all the women who have had mean and hateful things to say about Sarah, I remind you that as a woman we all need to learn to ask for what we want, to be bold, to negotiate, and to stand up for one another and surround yourselves with women who are willing to stand with you!
To the men who have been so nasty, well, it says more about you than it does her.
To Sarah I say, good for you for being bold enough to put it out there. It’s more than most women would be willing to do for their businesses.
To my blogger friends who are willing to be public in their defense of Sarah, I am honored to know you and proud to be surrounded by women who are strong and confident and can take a stand for others!
